When Being Around People Feels Exhausting ... Even If You’re Social

 

I’ve always thought of myself as a social person, someone who loves connection, conversations, and the buzz of being around others. But lately, I’ve noticed that sometimes, even in the middle of social settings, I feel completely drained.

It’s confusing at first: How can someone who enjoys people feel so wiped out by them?

What I’ve come to understand is that it’s not just about being social or not. It’s about context,  the environment, the energy, the kind of interactions, and how safe or aligned I feel in that space.

Sometimes, being around people who don’t really “get” you, or in settings where you have to hold back parts of yourself, takes more energy than you realize. Even for social folks, that invisible effort can lead to exhaustion.

This ties closely to what we explore in Contextual Behavioral Science: how our behavior and feelings are shaped by the context we’re in, and how important it is to notice when we need to protect our energy or set boundaries.

So here are some questions I find helpful when I’m feeling drained despite being social:

• What kind of social situations leave me feeling energized? Which ones drain me?

• Am I showing my authentic self, or am I adapting to fit in?

• How am I caring for myself before, during, and after social time?

• What boundaries might help me stay connected without burning out?

If you’ve felt this too, you’re not alone,  and it might be a signal to listen to your needs and honor your limits, even if it feels a little uncomfortable.

Have you noticed moments where socializing felt heavy instead of joyful? What did you do or wish you could do differently?